Just a quick gaming fix?

Going on holiday is always fun because it means you get to leave the worries of reality behind you. This is also a reason why I like really getting into a game sometimes, when you can get completely absorbed by it and not notice the daylight turning to night around you until some un-thoughtful sod ruins the atmosphere by turning the lights on.

I certainly don’t feel an urgent need to take games on holiday with me, but it can be a nice time waster. I remember in the past having fun with the Pokemon titles, when just about everyone that was my age who I encountered also had a copy, allowing for trades and battles galore. Just lately however, I personally feel that the handheld market has been missing something, and I’m not entirely sure what it is.

I’ve had my clunky, unstylish original DS since they were first released(ish). It was originally purchased to help cope with a 25 hour coach trip to Italy, with my friends having had similar thoughts allowing for many hours of Super Mario 64 DS multiplayer.

Since then I had only bought two other games, Mario Kart and New Super Mario Bros, both being alright, but nothing that I would pick up and play if in any situation other than a long journey. The levels of New Super Mario Bros just felt boring after the third run, with the crippling linearity of 2D meaning there was only really one direction to explore, with the occasional branch in the path taking you up or down, but not in a drastic way.

I’ve never been a huge fan of using the stylus as the main control method which is exactly why I never braved either Zelda DS game. Perhaps it’s me being closed minded but tapping and scribbling on the screen with the tenacity of a toddler with a crayon never really appealed.

I was pleasantly surprised on the holiday just past. On a whim I decided to buy Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars before I departed and I’m still playing it now. I have a stigma surrounding on the go gaming, that it’s just for a quick gaming fix and offers no really substance to get into. Chinatown Wars shattered this train of thought by incredibly being both a dip in and out casual affair and a decent, immersive game that could kill an hour or so. As it turns out, virtual drug dealing is almost as addictive as some of the very more-ish powders you can sniff or shoot (maybe).

With the 3DS hopefully seeing a release in the next six months, will this trend of engrossing games continue to appear. I don’t mean to use this word with disrespect to games on the current generation of DS, but it looks like we will start seeing some ‘proper’ games on Nintendo’s next handheld. A port of Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater for a start will definitely keep you hooked, with Hideo Kojima’s movie game fetish probably shining through that title.

Perhaps I’ve been too dismissive of handhelds as of late. Chinatown Wars has shown me what the little machine can do, so who knows what else I’ve missed on Nintendo’s little grey clam shell. Maybe I will look into Zelda after all.

I don't care what you say, I like it

Having just come back from holiday, I was going to regale you all in a fantastic tale about unexplained absences and gaming abroad. Instead I came back to what seemed to be an odd mix of critics either hatefully spitting or gleefully licking the experience of Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days.

This game appears to be some form of explosive Marmite, with the love it or hate it mechanic shining through the internet. It gives the game an annoyingly misty Metacritic score because it has almost as much praise as it has damning. Having enjoyed the demo and hated the first game, I decided this was a day one purchase just to see what the almighty guff was all about.

I can honestly say that I like it. Okay, it’s a slightly average shooter that’s too short with a liberal sprinkling of glitches and a plot that ends in completely the wrong place. It’s definitely functional though and a hell of a lot better than the craptastic heap the first game was pressed together from.

I must admit that I find it quite irresponsible and just a bad thing to do to award this game one out of ten, like Destructoid decided to. Okay, it is nowhere near perfect and you can pick it to ribbons if you like, but even then it is definitely not worth that much of a dismissal.

Perhaps I found it more fun because I played it through on co-op with a mate, but I really found it to be genuinely enjoyable. I felt that it missed some of the more innovative ideas for levels that the first game pulled off, as mentioned in the Destructoid review, but from a gameplay experience it is a million times more playable.

A one out of ten score, pitching it as “the lowest of the low” is horribly misleading. Seriously, has the writer ever played the joys of Ninjabread Man? That terrible turd smudge of pixels and unhappiness deserved every one out of ten (and lack of review) it got. Kane & Lynch 2 would still be better than that game if it contained subliminal messages encouraging you to evacuate your bowels onto your hands and finger paint “10/10” all over the walls of your living room.

I know this post can be boiled and evaporated down to the salty remains of “I disagree with X reviewer” but in this case it has particularly wound me up. Destructoid prides itself on ‘brutally honest game reviews’ but I fail to see how this is honest. It’s brutal sure, but I feel the review possibly ran away with how fun it is to be a bastard. Even reading the review, the one out of ten rating comes as a shock at the end. Okay, the article doesn’t beam sunshine out of a whole created by a thousand children smiling, but the rating at the end seems like it went straight for the jugular at the conclusion of a thumb war.

I really enjoyed Kane & Lynch 2. It has an interesting presentation with gunplay that feels fun and gritty. If you liked the demo, then you know what to expect. Not a perfect gem essential to all collections, but it certainly isn’t the steaming pile of fail that some reviews are claiming it to be.

It also has a fantastic level played in the nude that definitely tops Metal Gear Solid 2’s adventure into the naked protagonist experience.

How important are graphics these days?

Pretty colours, shiny textures and looking good are things that games are always striving to be. New art direction, next generation this and high definition that are all buzz words generally used to describe the next big game coming to shelves and internet listings, but how big a part do these factors play nowadays?

It’s funny to think that once upon a time NES, SNES and N64 graphics kept us in total awe, and that Lara Croft’s second adventure had impressive features such as a moving ponytail. It’s understandable that as technology gets better, our expectations continue to peak and then go beyond. Is this still the case nowadays though?

Personally, it has been a very long while since I was completely blown away by the visuals in a game. Environments, atmosphere and design have made my trousers smile recently yes, but the actual technology that is meant to make things pretty seems to have hit a plateau. Graphics are starting to get so good, that a lot of the realistic games especially, are starting to look the same. I just feel that I haven’t been swept off my feet lately.

Perhaps it is that graphics are improving quite gradually now, and so between games it is hard to notice a difference until you start comparing what we had two years ago with the big releases that are coming out over the next few months. Maybe I’m just not as easy to impress anymore, having grown cynical with age and the below average games that I have had to crush underneath my uniform journalist boots.

I still remember reading reviews with checkboxes giving the game a rating based on its graphics. These days, when I review something with a strict word count, I hardly ever mention the graphics of a game unless it is something interesting. If the game’s visuals are refreshingly different and expertly polished, or to the other extreme, as appealing as a daffodil covered in hot, chunky vomit, then I will spray liberal amounts of happiness or bile at the piece as appropriate.

This is the thing though. With in-game graphics of bigger blockbusters all looking fairly decent these days, is it really justifiable to mention it as a selling point in the review? Good graphics these days just simply don’t differentiate you from the pack enough.

At university I wrote a piece about the future of games for a feature writing assignment. I interviewed the editor of the Game Career Guide, the lead writer of PS3 shooter Haze and a video game design student. I was expecting answers to come back about photo realistic graphics making games as life like as possible. Instead, I had three rather distinct answers about broadening the gaming audience, the price of technology lowering to make it more available to game developers, and improvements to make physics more realistic. As far as I can tell, all of these have been spot on so far.

I suppose casual games are another culprit for graphics not being pushed that hard, as the rather simplistic visuals that these games use are ideal for their target audience. You don’t need the drastic, over the top CGI from a Michael Bay film to try and make wiggling your arse to spin a hula hoop more interesting (then again, the prospect of Optimus Prime doing this intrigues me in mysterious and disturbing ways).

So will graphics make a notable leap forward in the future? I don’t know. Industry folk seem to say that consoles still have room to be pushed further, but then again they wouldn’t exactly turn around and say, “Yes, the Xbox 360 cannot do anything else and this is the best it will ever do.” Of course PCs are always getting more power pumped into them, but trying to take their games to consoles as well as desktop power towers does limit how far they can be pushed. Let’s just see what happens, eh?

Goodnight sweet prince, thanks for the fun

Sad times. That’s all I can really say. It looks like Future Publishing has decided to stop PC Zone after 17 years of being one of the funniest bastions of games journalism around. It gave us so many great writers, such as Jon ‘Log’ Blyth, Steve Hogarty and the ever popular Charlie Brooker to name a few.

PC Gamer regularly does the rounds in this household as it’s the one my dad likes, and I’m definitely not saying that I don’t enjoy flicking through it, but PC Zone just felt better, a bit grittier and definitely funnier. I still remember passing a copy of the magazine around because it had one of the funniest game reviews in it that I have ever read. It was a 150 word or so recap review on Little Britain the Game which only mentioned ways to horrifically mutilate yourself that were preferable to playing it.

I’m yet to have found another magazine that does scathing hatred as well or hilariously, and so PC Zone will be sorely missed. The last issue is number 225 released in September and they are looking for readers to contribute their fondest thoughts and memories. Check the details out here if you want to get involved.

Is this tragedy part of the ongoing line of thought that the print industry is folding? The internet has done many great things for us and simplified a lot, but it has also made a hell of a lot of things harder. The two examples that spring to my mind are photography and writing, as now there are so many people able to showcase both, getting your foot on the career ladder in either of these industries is about as easy as fending off two tigers with a pair of left handed safety scissors.

Personally, I would like to think that printed publications have plenty of life left in them. Taking out a laptop out to read on the train or porcelain throne just doesn’t feel the same as being able to hold a slab of finely bound and printed papers. I like being able to read the words off of the glossy pages, rather than committing my eyes to yet more retinal dehydrating screen time.

Unfortunately though I don’t know how long this position can hold. Circulation figures across all printed publications have been dropping for a while, and no one has been able to crack the riddle of how to make money from content online, apart from through advertisements. I can’t really see it ever happening, as everyone has started offering the content for free on various websites; it requires one hell of an en masse dick move to start charging for it all. Even if that does happen, there will be alternate sources that stay free.

Times have been changing for a fair few years now, but the print industry, as much as it pains me to say it, does seem to be a wounded survivor limping through a desert made from broken glass and crushed hope. I find it hard to imagine a completely digital media, but magazines are going to need to try evolving if they want to keep up. Maybe dropping the useless cover disc that I can’t see many people using these days is the way to go. It’ll drop production costs slightly, perhaps making the cover price a bit more attractive. I can’t see it being enough though. Let’s just see what tomorrow brings.

Good ideas that turn sour

I love it when a good idea remains good all the way through production until it ends up on the shelves, remaining the brilliant brain fart that spawned its creation months or even years prior. Half-life, The Legend of Zelda and chainsaw bayonets are all fantastic concepts that made the transition to virtual reality perfectly.

Unfortunately this train of thought, like many others, does have a polar opposite effect that can make me more hateful than a bag full of convicted murderers given time in prison to plot their revenge. When a really good idea goes into the machine beautiful at one end, but comes out the other horrifically warped and covered in hair from multiple donors, it makes me want to scream in anguish.

The latest game I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing was Artificial Mind and Movement’s demented hack and slasher Naughty Bear. I really wanted to like it, but the repetitive gameplay and complete lack of variety made it about as fun as eating a Jammy Dodger that has been trodden into the carpet.

I wrote a very similar blog back in 2008, explaining my dismay at another game that had displayed brilliance in the concept but had an appeal very similar to wrapping a wet towel around your face to see how well you could cope at drowning. Ninjabread Man for the Wii had a great, original idea about a deadly biscuit trained in the ancient art of fighting evil. Why did it have to fail?

Both of these games were ones that I really wanted to love, where I forced myself to play on in an almost sadistic manner, just to see if they could possibly redeem themselves. To give Naughty Bear credit, I did find it genuinely funny, and it kept the smile on my face for a little while, but this just added to the insult that it was a complete flop to play.

I suppose there are many reasons why a game might end up being bad, whether it is time restraints, budget cuts, staff reductions, or perhaps the project simply runs out of spark. I just find it a real shame that such things happen. You can understand if a movie game tie-in seems rushed and half arsed, as it will be able to shift units by the basket load due to the license it’s riding on. These titles which seem completely off the wall and original however stand very little chance of seeing a second attempt if the first one sold as well as belly button fluff chutney.

I can accept that bad games happen, but the last couple of years have felt so sequel heavy within the seasonal blockbusters, possibly due to the safety net of them being ideas that people already know and love. I’m not saying that there haven’t been any truly imaginative gems released either, it just seems that there have been a lot of numbers and new subtitles adorning some very familiar game franchises, and not necessarily completely new casts to fall in love with.

It is simply a statistical fact that not all ideas will take off and be great, but both Ninjabread Man and Naughty Bear were enough to grab my attention with a single sentence description. They were mountains of imagination that turned out to be ice cream cones of sadness. I really hope that the next title to grab me by the gentleman handle with a single line will turn out to be the belter that breaks the trend.

A good reason to love or hate Steam

I am a sucker for special offers, whether it is buy one get one free on biscuits, suspiciously low priced alcohol at the front counter of my corner shop or games that are pretty much being given away. Steam has provided us with a scarily fast and easy way to buy hundreds of different PC titles, and they have just gone and made me reconsider my carefully thought out budgeting for the month. They’re doing another insane sale through to July 4.

I don’t know how Valve does it, but they always seem to pick just the wrong moment to suddenly hold a sale and convince major publishers to slash the prices of everything. Not that there is ever a right moment, because you look at all of the great deals, which probably save you hundreds of pounds, but you still end up spending an amount that would go a long way to building an orphanage.

For example, the THQ complete pack for £26.49 includes: (deep breath) all of the Red Faction games, Dawn of War 2, its expansion, and two previous titles from the series, Metro 2033, both Full Spectrum Warriors, three Company of Heroes games, Frontlines: Fuel of War, Juiced 2, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Saints Row 2, Titan Quest and World of Zoo. This is such a ridiculous deal that simply writing that sentence was enough to make me sweat blood with excitement. I’m really tempted by it, despite owning over half of those games already.

Not to mention the other gems available including the Valve complete pack (which was already a freakin’ steal) for £35.50. Seriously, if you were looking for an opportunity to flex the muscles of a new computer, or you are just getting into PC gaming, now is the time to strike whilst the iron is hotter than an oven on the highest setting in a volcano directly under the sun.

One thing to note though is that a fresh set of deals appears every 24 hours, so instead of rushing in like a mad man and throwing e-money at just about everything, it might be worth holding on with the off chance that a game you’ve had your eye on becomes a bargain. The amount of comical rage I have already seen online from people buying games the day before the insane discount kicked in is slightly harrowing. Do not become another victim.

This has probably come off sounding like a complete advertorial for the Steam sale, which I’ll be honest, it really is, but I just thought it was worth spreading the word. E3 gave us plenty to look forward to in the future, but instead of cradling yourself in the corner waiting for the 3DS, how about looking back at some of the current greats?

Sony at E3 - holding the middle ground

Sony had its work cut out for it going last, especially when it took its turn after Nintendo. After the PlayStation focussed conference I must admit I was pleasantly surprised that they did not linger on Move for as long as they could have done. Unfortunately it still didn’t hold the wow factor that I always hype these conferences up to have in my naïve and excitable mind.

One of the bigger reveals that I certainly wasn’t expecting probably would have stolen the show for me if it wasn’t for the hype building behind it for the last couple of weeks. I am an absolutely massive Valve fan, and Portal 2 is looking superb, definitely securing a day one purchase from me, but on the PC.

This is the thing though. Valve had been teasing us with an E3 surprise for some time now. The PC community literally burst into flames, lighting up with untold amounts of excitement. Half-life 3 was whispered all over the internet, with some very convincing looking hoaxes getting the better of people’s optimistic hopes. Valve soon stopped this by saying their surprise was Portal 2 related.

The surprise arrived yesterday during the Sony conference, when Gabe Newell strolled out to reveal that Portal 2 would be especially good on PS3. Geeez, thanks. I feel like I have been spat on slightly. Not quite in the face, but possibly just catching my elbow.

We got a Portal 2 trailer (which looks rather fabulous might I add), but I do feel slightly betrayed. I don’t mean to sound elitist here, but the PC crowd is and always has been Valve’s main market. Making the PS3 announcement the big surprise really underplayed the significance of its appearance. At least PS3 owners who have felt let down by the dev can now finally be happier.

What got me excited more than anything was left for the end, with the awesome tease of a new Twisted Metal game. For those not familiar with the series, imagine what would happen if the characters from Mario Kart were placed in a dark room for ten years, routinely beaten and fed dead puppies for the duration of their incarceration. They were then shown a room full of guns, cars and rockets and told to pimp their rides before brutally slaying each other to have their greatest desire fulfilled. Sounds fun doesn’t it!

Other highlights included Dead Space 2, Medal of Honour and Mafia 2 footage as well as another look at Little Big Planet 2. A lot of the show was in 3D, such as a lengthy Killzone 3 video, but I couldn’t really appreciate that as I wasn’t there to witness it.

The biggest cop out was Sony bigging up their Xbox Live esque paid subscription service, PlayStation Plus. Unlike Micro$oft’s version, you don’t have to pay to play online, but I can’t really see the point of the service if that is the case. You do get a range of games that you can play for free, including some of the PS One classics and game trials which might be alright. Possibly not worth £40 a year though.

With all the major platform conferences now done with, Sony left me feeling fairly neutral. Ranking them in order of awesomeness isn’t hard, as most people are agreeing that Nintendo won it, with Microsoft trailing behind and Sony sitting in the middle. Not a bad set of E3 announcements by any means, but it could have been so much better. I wonder if we’ll get many more surprises from the big event before it closes up for another year.